Yesterday morning I got a call from a good friend of mine who just wanted to vent about a frustrating situation she has encountered while being pregnant. Our conversation inspired this entry and will focus more on my opinion than it does on facts but it is something I had to share because I found the situation to be one I can't quite wrap my mind around.
While on the way to work she was approached by a guy , whom she had never met before, at the bus stop who asked her if her baby was his (he clearly knew it wasn't his child). This young man then proceeded to tell her that no one would do for her and the baby like he would so she should just let him take care of her. Keep in mind that she is married and wears her ring EVERYDAY so it's not like he couldn't read the signs. She said that this is not the first time that it has happened to her and she was finally at a point where she was ready to snap. She is not the first of my friends that has faced this kind of problem when they were pregnant which leads me to my biggest issue. Why do so many people look a a pregnant woman or a woman with children and automatically assume that she is or will be a single mother?
While on the way to work she was approached by a guy , whom she had never met before, at the bus stop who asked her if her baby was his (he clearly knew it wasn't his child). This young man then proceeded to tell her that no one would do for her and the baby like he would so she should just let him take care of her. Keep in mind that she is married and wears her ring EVERYDAY so it's not like he couldn't read the signs. She said that this is not the first time that it has happened to her and she was finally at a point where she was ready to snap. She is not the first of my friends that has faced this kind of problem when they were pregnant which leads me to my biggest issue. Why do so many people look a a pregnant woman or a woman with children and automatically assume that she is or will be a single mother?
The U.S. Census Bureau statistics from November of 2009 show that there are 13.7 million single parents that are raising approximately 21.8 million children; which accounts for 26% of children under the age of 21 in the United States. I do understand that being a single parent is unfortunately a common occurance but when does it become acceptable to assume that all women with children are single mothers? Another problem I have is that if so many men show so much concern for women and children that aren't theirs, then why are there so many single mothers out here today? How many of those men offering to take care of someone else's child have children of their own that they don't take care of? Come on people!
It is time to push aside the stereotypes and stop assuming that all women with children are single mothers. Pay attention to the signs people and stop being so disrespectful.
I honestly don't think they can help it. It happened to me while I was pregnant too and the only thing I can think of is "PIGS!" It doesn't make any sense. And I'd bet money he already had a child. It's a frustrating thing to think about.
ReplyDeleteGreat topic, I'm curious to see the input. We need a male perspective. :-)
Does this happen to all women or just women of colour? AND where is this occuring? how pretentious of a random to approach any woman and spout such nonsense...talk about verbal harrassment.
ReplyDeleteWhy is this assumption catching on? I dont know...could be the media seems to glamourize it, could be what we see in our families, or even our own circumstances
Constant.Momentum: I am trying to get some male opinions in on this now. I'm working on it so stay tuned!
ReplyDeleteWith everyone I've talked to Yinka, it is woman of different races & it has occurred in different areas. It's just tied to 1 race or 1 central location; its not even just linked to inner city or urban areas.
I have no idea why the assumption is catching on. I guess thats what I'm trying to figure out. I would really just like to get as many perspectives on this as possible so we can start to get an idea of where the root of the problem begins.